


Dragonfly

by futuraultra



Category: HyunA - Fandom, Pentagon (Korea Band), Triple H (Korea Band)
Genre: Multi, Pentagon, Polyamory, Triple H - Freeform, kpop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 20:05:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16226372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futuraultra/pseuds/futuraultra
Summary: Hui falls in love with the boy in the flower shop but is soon faced with a choice when a figure from his past re-emerges.





	Dragonfly

It was a curious place at a curious time. Not a time like 12 o’clock, but a time that had no measurable beginning or end. And where was the place? Well it was somewhere analogous to a place you’ve already been; a place like any other.  
A place that was so familiar in fact, that you could almost never imagine that what happened next was real at all.

Ch 1.

I was in what some would call a slump. I hated my job, and I could see no path in front of me that lead me any further than where I was now. It’s a sinking feeling, being in a slump. I mean, I guess that’s why they call it a slump.  
It had been raining and raining the past few weeks; the sky never endingly weeping for its own slump to be over.  
I stepped out of my apartment on a morning just like all the rest, and started walking to the bus stop. My stop wasn’t in any way close to my apartment complex, and in this unstopping deluge, it was more than inconvenient.  
The bottoms of my pants slowly got wetter and wetter as I walked farther into the storm; the pitter patter of rain sounding almost like firecrackers as they collided with the top of my black umbrella.  
The street was filled with people equally as wet, carrying their equally black umbrellas in a frenzy to get to wherever they were going. I wonder if they hate their jobs? I wonder if they feel like I do? Or maybe they’re in a frenzy to go somewhere beyond me, and beyond this town.  
Maybe they’re all headed to the airport to get on plane far away from here and this rain. Somewhere it’s summer again, and they’re with someone they love. Somewhere they can lay in the grass and the sun, and let their skin tan with slow days and hot nights.  
Block after block I walk, seeing the same bustling people, but hoping the same warm thoughts for them, unaware that I could wish those thoughts upon myself as well.  
I finally make it to my bus stop and I look down at my watch. It’s 8:15, the bus usually comes at 8:20, so hopefully I won’t have to stand in this rain much longer.  
I close my eyes and try to escape from the reality I’m standing in; further and further I wander. Past yesterday, and past the day before that. Past my slump, past even the time that existed before then. Until….until I see her, and the sheets, and how they protected us from the morning light. How we existed before the beginning, before anything mattered too much. She was so beautiful like that, her eyes closed with the cold breeze from the window blowing her baby hairs softly. She loved me, but I surely loved her more. Sometimes I’m mysterious to myself, and in the choices I make.  
I was never in a slump with her. But I couldn’t just lay in bed forever, as much as I tried. Time keeps moving, and pushing us to move on as well. One day I had to leave, she just didn’t understand why. I think about her a lot, and I wonder if she thinks about me.  
I wonder if she thinks about how we went on vacation to Thailand, and she got so sick. I remember holding her on the balcony of our hotel, the sun setting and casting an orange light over our skin. Her cheeks were so red, flushed with fever. But somehow, she was still as beautiful as ever, almost as if by magic.  
Suddenly my daydream is interrupted by the loud screeching of the bus coming to a stop. I’m the last in line to board, everyone in front of me dragging their feet more than the person in front of them.  
Suddenly, something from across the street catches my eye. Something most people would probably pass by. Something I would normally pass by. But today, a day I thought of like any other, wasn’t like any other at all. “Are you getting on?” The bus driver asks, breaking my gaze. I’m the final person left at the stop, and I’m now standing, umbrella in hand, in the doorway of the bus. “N-no.” I say in a trance. I don’t know what I’m thinking, but as the bus drives away, I now know I’ll surely be late if I want to make it in today.  
My eyes dart back across the street. There’s a man, no older than me, struggling with a box of some sort. I look both ways, and I run to the other side of the street. Just as I make it to the opposite sidewalk, his box breaks from exposure to the rain, and red clay pots smash to the concrete below.  
Without saying a word I drop my umbrella and quickly begin collecting the shards from off the ground. I look up, and the man is staring down in a mix of awe and confusion. He slowly crouches down to meet me at my level, and begins to pick up the pieces as well.  
“T-thank you.” He whispers to me, his voice almost blending in with the sound of the rain around us. “Yeah, of course.” I say back, meeting his gaze. His eyes are soft, and some of the deepest browns I’ve ever seen. The rain is making his blonde hair stick to his forehead, and as he stands up, he flicks it out of his eyes, the water from the ends splashing on my face. But for some reason, I didn’t mind at all. He grabs the shards in my hands and totes them into the shop we’re stood in front of; a flower shop.  
And soon enough, I’m stood alone again. Only now, the rain has suddenly stopped, and a single ray of sunlight is piercing through the sky, illuminating the damp flowers that sit in front of the shop.  
My coat is dripping wet as I pick up my umbrella from off the ground. Water droplets from my soaked hair run down my nose and travel to the tip of my chin, where they then fall to the ground; I am the final raincloud.

 

Ch. 2

I showed up late to work that day, and not at all the next day. My mind had been so occupied with that man, all night I tossed and turned and thought about the perfect way his cupid’s bow upturned his pale pink lips. Or how he had bleached his eyebrows to match his hair, making him look like he washed up on shore, pale, but flushed with adrenaline.  
It’s funny, I laid awake that first night completely consumed by the thought of him. I felt stupid, but alive. I guess that’s what makes me human; what let’s me know I still have a heart that can yearn for something in this world. It had been some time since I had felt this way. So long in fact, that I’m not even sure how long it had truly been anymore.  
But suddenly, and as if by the most random chance, I was consumed by something other than a slump. A feeling between here and there, a flicker in my abdomen.  
The universe felt as if it was pushing me towards him, like it wasn’t my choice to make. As if the shards of the flower pots had transferred some of me to him, and vise versa. Or maybe the rain had swept some of him onto the soles of my shoes, and when I got home that day, I tracked him all over the house; eventually covering everything familiar with a trace of the man from the flower shop.  
I lied to my boss and said that I was sick as a dog and couldn’t come into work. Soon I was walking as fast as I could, without running, down the 5 or 6 blocks to the flower shop. Maybe I would see him, maybe I wouldn’t. Was this crazy what I was doing? Had life become so mundane that I would just drop everything to go see someone I didn’t even know the name of?  
Maybe, but my feet kept going at an earnest pace, not giving a damn how confused my mind may have been.  
It was the early morning, barely 8, I hope the shop is open. For the first time in weeks, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. The air is chilly, as the first days of spring always are. But as the sun peeked over the tops of the buildings, a rush of warmth enveloped my skin; making me feel the same outside as I did in.  
The day was fresh, and new, and were proceeded with days equally as fresh and new. That’s what you forget when you’re in a slump; that everyday is different, everyday you can start over. Everyday is the chance to change, to make something better. To run to a metaphorical flower shop, and change your path.  
As I came up over the final hill, and past the final block, I spotted the robin’s egg-colored shop. It’s windows are filled with flowers of all shades, from dark violet, to brilliant white.  
I slow my pace, and try to calm my breath as I cross the street. I hope I look alright, I didn’t really take into account the consequence of exerting myself all the way here.  
I take a deep breath in, and open the door. As I swing the door open, and cross the threshold, a little bell chimes from above. The shop is quiet, but in the calmest way possible. Even though I perceive myself to be alone, I don’t feel it; flowers cover every surface of the room, on every table, next to every lamp. Some sit in pots that hang from the ceiling, and some grow on vines that creep up the far brick wall.  
Suddenly from around the corner I hear footsteps, and figure rounds the corner; it’s an elderly woman. “Can I help you with something dear?” She asks. I pause for a second, do I ask her for the man? How do I ask that? I panic. “Umm, I’m just looking around, thank you.” I say meekly. “Let me know if you need any help okay?” She says as she goes back to wherever she came from. I nod my head and think of what to do next.  
I can’t just leave, I’m most likely the first customer of the day which kinda shows I’m here with some intenton. I begin to look around the shop, blindly may I add, I don’t really know anything about flowers, or even what kind of flowers I like.  
I take a few steps farther into the shop. Some flowers are large, big enough to eat me whole if they really wanted to. But some flowers are small. So small in fact, that I’m sure even a mean glance towards them, or perhaps even a rude thought, would blow them away as if by a hurricane.  
I wander farther and farther in the store, towards the back, I turn a corner and I’m suddenly in what I can only describe as the most ornate greenhouse I’ve ever seen. It’s made entirely out of glass which is pieced intricately together in a labyrinth of windows. Huge green, leafy plants and small trees, bloom with delicate pink flowers, and grow out of every available pot; each competing to see who can reach the top of the glass building the fastest.  
As I’m looking at each plant, some bigger and smaller than the last, I look up and am greeted with my own reflection in one of the greenhouse’s many windows. It’s me, after everything, it’ll always be me. Strangely though there is something else in the window. Someone else in the window.  
It’s him.  
I turn around, half expecting the reflection to have been my imagination. But there, in his full glory, he stands. The pale morning light is illuminating the falling dust particles around him, making it look as if he was surrounded by fairy dust. He’s wearing a loose green shirt whose sleeves are rolled just above his elbows. His jeans are tattered and splattered with different shades of paint. His shoes are as off white as white can be before they’re brown, and in his hand he’s holding a large dusty blue watering can.  
Even though most would see his outfit and think he wasn’t trying, or maybe he didn’t even care, I thought he looked perfect. He pushed back his long blonde hair and switched the watering can to his other hand. “It’s you again.” He says with a smirk. “Y-yeah, it is.” I say shyly.  
“So what’s the story morning glory?” He asks. “Umm, what?” I embarrassingly say back. “You know? Morning Glory? Like the flower? We’re in a flower shop? Don’t worry about it.” He chuckles. “No, I got that. I guess I just don’t really have a story.” I say.  
“No story huh? Well the day is new, maybe one will write itself.” He says, turning from me to water the plants all around us. “Is this, your shop?” I ask. “No, it’s my grandmother’s, I just work here while I figure things out. We both live in the loft above the shop. It’s an okay deal, I get to live for free if I just work here.” He says.  
“I’m Hyojong by the way.” He says, turning around and reaching out a hand to me. “I’m Hui.” I shake his hand and notice a daisy tattoo right above his thumb.“I like your tattoo.” I say pointing. “Thanks, I did it myself.” He says. “You tattoo yourself? That’s wicked awesome! Did you get it cause you worked here or?” I ask.  
“I got it for a lot of reasons. I got it long before I worked here. I love flowers sure, but, I don’t know….flowers don’t take, they don’t ask for anything in return. They just stand around and beg for the sun. They give us only beauty until the second they die. And someone once told me, a long time ago now, that sometimes, when your feeling buried, you’re really just planted.”  
I stand there in silence. Not knowing quite what to say. What a beautiful mind to have been revealed on this morning in March. And it is such a shame to waste such a beautiful mind.  
“Anyway,” he says looking back at me, “Did you come in to get some flowers?” “Uh, yeah of course!” I lie. “Is it for something?” He asks as he puts down the watering can. “N-no, just wanted to, um, spruce up my apartment.” I say.  
He turns to me and chuckles: “Okay then. Let’s look around then Hui.”  
We walk around for a few minutes in silence, I didn’t have any intention of getting flowers today and I honestly wouldn’t know where to start the conversation. As we pace the shop, I catch Hyojong never breaking his gaze with me. I would look down, hoping I just caught him that once; but again, I would look up, and there his eyes would meet mine, a never ending smirk plastered to the lower half of his face.  
“Umm, could….could you help me pick something out?” I finally ask. “Of course.” He says with a chuckle. He picked out some heather first. “This is white heather.” He explains to me. “Purple heather is usually just called lavender, but I like white heather because it’s supposed to indicate that your wishes will come true.”  
Next he picks out some what he says is Larkspur. Then some greenery to start to pull the bouquet together. Finally, as the main focal point, he grabs a large white flower: “This is a gardenia. They’re really great for weddings, or really just about any event you need a bouquet for. They tell the receiver of the flower that they’re lovely.” He says as he looks up at me. He stares into what feels like something deeper than my soul and I can feel my face getting hot and I’m sure I’m red as a tomato.  
I clear my throat and point at the small purple flowers that are hanging above us, trying to turn the conversation. “A-and what are these?” I ask. “They’re lilacs.” He responds. “And what do they mean?” “I’m not sure.” he laughs. “Sometimes flowers are just flowers after all, and that’s enough on it’s own.”  
He rings me up and wraps the base of my bouquet in some beige paper. “Thank you.” I say with a nod of my head. “Always.” He says in return, handing me my change.

 

Ch. 3

The next days passed and passed. Everyday at the bus stop, I would watch him sort and arrange the flowers outside of the shop. Every once in a while, he would catch me and wave, flashing the cutest smile I had ever seen. A smile that made his eyes scrunch up so much, that they looked as though they were closed.  
He would be the last thing I would think about before I fell asleep. And sometimes, if I was lucky enough, I would dream of him. Every dream always the same; I would awaken under a tree, the sun high in the sky, but the shade of the lone oak protecting me from it’s rays. I would get off of the ground only to realize I was in a vast field of flowers. A field that I could see no end to. It just went on forever and ever. There were only three things that broke up the infinite sea of flora; me, the oak tree, and somewhere far, almost at the horizon...him. He was so far, but I could see him perfectly. I mean, it was a dream after all. He would be dressed in all white, the wind blowing his pale golden hair out of his eyes. I would try to run to him, but no matter how long, or far I would run, he would never get any closer.  
He was almost like a phantom that lived in my mind. Perhaps, even a poltergeist, knocking everything else that consumed my brain off of their shelves, and throwing them against a wall. He was replacing the air in my lungs for clay pots and dirt. But I didn’t mind, not one bit.  
The flowers he gave me slowly began to wither, and the petals would fall of their stems and float to the ground. My heart would lurch when I would come home to an empty house, and see my only company, the flowers, dying right before my eyes.  
Perhaps it wasn’t the flowers I cared about though, it was the fact that I saw him in the flowers that made me mourn the passing of each and every petal.  
But as one door closes, another one opens, I suppose now that these flowers were coming to the end of their lives, I would need to be getting more.  
The next Saturday, I walked to the shop. The days were beginning to warm, as the promise of summer latched itself to the passing days and nights.  
Hyojong’s grandmother was out front, watering the flowers with the same blue watering can as before. “Oh hello dear! Back for more?” She asks as I entered the shop. I guess I was back for more. She meant flowers, and on the surface, so did I.  
The door’s bell rings as I walk in, and Hyojong suddenly appears from behind the counter. “I thought you’d be back.” He smirks. “W-well my flowers at home are dying so I thought I might, I don’t know, get some more I guess.” I say in a shaky tone.  
“Funny that a guy who knows nothing about flowers would come in for flowers so often so suddenly.” He laughs. “Well there’s never a bad time to start right?” I chuckle back.  
Hyojong smiles, and comes around from behind the counter. He walks right up to me, and is standing only inches from my face. “Well then I guess I could teach you.” He whispers.  
He quickly takes my hand and leads me through the shop. I’m still in shock from that micro-erotic moment. But I’m quickly distracted by him pulling me through the shop, quickly naming off each and every flower as if they were important people at a cocktail party that I had to remember the names of.  
He was so beautiful like this; illuminated by his love of the flora around us, like a firecracker freshly lit. I on the other hand, was illuminated by my love of him. He was the sun, caring for each flower, and I was the moon; only seen by the aid of his light.  
I know you’re not supposed to fall in love with people this fast. I mean, there aren’t any rules to love, but it’s unconsciously known to all that it shouldn’t be rushed.  
His hand was in mind, like the most perfect jigsaw puzzle you’ve ever seen. We were children again, running and giggling amongst the flowers. He would name each one off, and I would immediately forget it. The only thing I was memorising was his face; the way his eyes scrunched up when he laughed, or how gummy his smile was.  
He eventually gives on on the flower lesson and makes a bouquet himself; one with a light pink palette. I wish him goodbye, but just as I get to the doorway, I know that I have a choice to make; walk out this door and have him forever just be the boy in the flower shop or- “What time are you off?!” I blurt out, turning around. “I thought you’d never ask.” He says with a chuckle. “I’m off at five. Pick me up here, I know a great place we can grab a bite to eat.” He says.  
“I’ll see you then.”

<> <> <> <> <> <> <>

Our date was nothing out of the ordinary; perhaps you were expecting something more. Something, extraordinary. But in fact, even though it seemed like supernatural forces had brought us together, we ourselves were nothing more or less than any other person you’ve ever met.  
And maybe that’s not the story you wanted to hear. I’m sure you’d much rather read a story about an protagonist falling in love with someone not of this earth; perhaps a visitor from the moon. Or maybe you’d rather read a story about a great adventurer who finds love and triumph in a far off land that you’ve never heard of.  
But, that isn’t this story. This is a secular story. One that could happen to you, or your best friend, or your next door neighbor, or your great aunt Sue. One that happens on your block, in your town, or near your home. One that could be happening right under your nose, and you could go every day for the rest of your life never knowing that anything happened at all.  
That being said, that doesn’t mean this story doesn’t have a few twists. 

But we’re not there yet. I’m sure you might be wondering what happened between Hyojong and I.  
We fell in love I guess. Or maybe we didn’t. Sometimes it can be hard to tell if you love someone, or if they just matter more than you can bear. But maybe that’s the same feeling. It’s hard to say isn’t it?  
We would sit on the balcony above the flower shop most nights, watching the sun set over the city. We would grab all the blankets we could from his little apartment and take them out to his truck where we lay in the bed, wrapped up like two caterpillars waiting to metamorphosize. We would lay, sometimes in silence, staring up at the moon, wondering if there was anyone lying on the moon right now looking back.  
Of course there is no one on the moon, this we both knew. But how interesting is the thought that there may be two beings out there, somewhere, in all of everything, past this universe, and past the next, that are laying there thinking about what’s beyond their stars, and their lives, and their love.  
Maybe. But for now, what I knew for certain, was that I was here, with him. Wrapped tightly in his grandmother’s quilts; quilts that had been places we would never go, and that had covered people we would never know.  
One night Hyojong and I got a little too drunk and we made it back to my place. We took off all of our clothes until we were just two archaic forms melding with one another on the floor. He was so gorgeous, I made sure I kissed every tattoo of his, every part of his body he had opened up, hoping I could leave a little bit of myself in him.  
He would moan as I left sloppy, yet passionate marks all over him, leaving more shapes on his body than he had started with. Eventually we stop in a heap of heavy breathing. We both lie on our backs as we stare at the ceiling, all the while holding each others hands. Rain came again, and the sounds of the droplets cascaded on the roof, through the gutters, and out into the night beyond.  
Suddenly, Hyojong speaks; “The other day, I was on a walk. I wasn’t going anywhere in particular, in fact I wasn’t going anywhere at all. All of a sudden, I don’t know why, I look down and there’s a dragonfly lying on the sidewalk. His wing must’ve been broken because he looked like he was trying to fly...but he just couldn’t. I thought about at least getting him off the sidewalk so he wouldn’t be stepped on. I stared at him for what seemed like half an hour, watching him struggle. I know it was probably only a few seconds, but it just felt like I was watching him for so long. But, in the end, I didn’t do anything. I just….kept walking.”  
I turn over to face him, and he does the same. His skin is so smooth and is glistening in the soft light being put off by the only illuminated lamp in the room. “Do you feel bad for the dragonfly?” I ask, half-joking. “I guess I do.” He says, face stern. “He just needed one person to help him. To possibly change his life. To just take one second to get him off the sidewalk.” He whispers. “It’s just that, I was that dragonfly Hui. I was struggling, not only literally, with the flower pots, but I was alone, and unsure of what was to come next. Then, you came along. You were the person to get me off of the sidewalk.” He whimpers.  
I take his face into my hand and catch a single tear as it falls from his eye. “You mean so much to me Hyojong. More than you could ever know in this life, or the next one. You got me out of a place, I hope to never return to, a place without you. I guess we’re reflections of each other in that way. If there is a god, than he put you in my life as a gift. You are everything that is good, and beautiful about this life; about this meager time on Earth. This blip in history where somehow, someway, you and I both exist. The Earth turned and turned for billions of years, and yet it decided that here and now, we needed to be together for each other. That this had to happen.”  
Hyojong grabs my hand and kisses my palm before grabbing a blanket off of the couch and covering the two of us up.  
We both slowly fall asleep, him nestled in the bend of my arm, I, finally having something to protect in this world again. We slowly melted into slumber as we lay there on my apartment floor, until suddenly,

there’s was knock at the door.

 

Ch. 4

My skin turned to ice, and every hair stood up on my body; almost as if I had known what lie beyond that door. I looked down at Hyojong who was fast asleep in my arms. As slowly as I could, I slid my arm out from under him, and softly laid his head down.  
As I slowly rose up and began putting on my clothes that were strewn around the room, the door knocked again, this time with more intent than before. I looked back over at Hyojong who stirred, but quickly fell back to sleep.  
My heart pounds as I take one step, two step, three steps closer to the door till I have no other choice but to open it.  
I tear it open like a bandaid, half expecting one thing, half expecting another. But what I saw on the opposite side of the two inch thick portal, was synonymous to a memory, something that I never expected to meet me here; something….someone, that I thought only existed in the past.  
Standing there, drenched in the water falling from the sky, illuminated only by the far streetlamp, was her. Was Hyuna.  
“Hui!” She gasped and quickly embraced me. Of course, I was shocked beyond all belief, confronted head on, by a phantom of my past.I hugged her back. What else was there to do in this situation?  
She sobs into my shoulder, unprovoked, or so I thought. Looking back, she must’ve felt so much, and I guess I did too, just in a different way.  
She pulls herself out of the hug and looks up at me, her eyes twinkling with moisture. Her jet black hair, glimmering in the rain-soaked light.  
“I never thought I’d see you again.” She whispers through her tears. “I-I don’t even know what to say.” I tell her. “Why did you leave me Hui?” She suddenly blurts out.  
My heart stops for a moment, I’m sure of it. This must be a dream, I have no other explanation. This is all too much for me right now. I never thought I’d see her again either. It had been years, too many to count since we had said our last words to each other, or what I thought were our last words. She was everything to me at one time. But she was a part of life that I believed to be over. Over, and yet, she was a part of me, a part of me unseen.  
But now this unseen part, this feeling, had manifested on my front porch, and it was more beautiful than I had remembered.  
She had so many questions, but I’m sure I had more. What was she doing here? How did she find me? Why now? Why after all this time? Was there some greater force out there responsible for this?  
“Hui?” She says softly, tears still in her eyes. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come, t-this, this was stupid, I’ll go.” She says turning away. “Wait.” I say grabbing her arm. She shakes my hand away; “I’m really sorry Hui, I just, I just wanted to see you, but now I realize how stupid I look, and it’s late, and you have other things to do, and I should just go.”  
And as quickly and mysteriously as she appeared, she was gone, back into the night. Back into the rain. It was almost as if I had dreamt it all up. A minute of fantasy. A minute of a desire so deep, that it just couldn’t have happened.  
I said nothing to Hyojong the next morning. But in the irony and sheer madness of it all, we lay there in the dawning light, windows open, just as an exact portrait of how I had once been before. Only he was she, and yet, I was still me. The same me that has always existed. At least, that’s how I felt. Even though, I know I’ve changed. It’s impossible not to. But this. Him. Me. Her. This felt the same. And the sameness of it all made me question everything. Did I love them the same? Did I want them the same? How similar are they really? Not at all. But why did I feel this way? Like they both completed the same picture; like either way, no matter what, whatever this ended up being, that everything was okay.  
Why had she shown up so suddenly? Why after all this time? Why when I had someone else? This meant something, whether it was her choice or not. Whether it was my choice or not.  
Hyojong left for work, and I stayed behind in my apartment, looking over all the blankets and pillows that had carelessly been tossed about the room the night prior. Suddenly, I was very much not alone. I had Hyojong; and Hyuna had returned in one way or another. Everything I had ever loved in this life was back within the field of my peripheral. And I have to admit, it was overwhelming.  
I had gotten used to the way things were. Gotten used to the fact that loneliness was normalcy. That isolation was a perfect social construct, and anything beyond that was a renegade cry for an abnormal existence.  
Now I was faced with expectations. Expectations that I didn’t fully understand, but ones that would change not only myself, but those I cared about the most.  
Without thinking, I grabbed the phone and dialed her number. I still had it memorized after all this time; the numbers just as important as the ones that made up my own birthday. The phone rang, and rang…..and rang. Maybe this wasn’t even her number anymore. Maybe she didn’t even have a phone these days. The unending ringing, and the absence of an answer shocked my brain into the realization that my feelings did not match the facts in front of me; that as the clock ticked, and as the calendar began and ended, she was becoming more and more unfamiliar. That no matter how vivid the memories of her I kept, she had become no more than any stranger. The only thing that was possibly the same, was her face, but even that could be explained away with deja vu.  
No one ever picked up; the phone just rang until the automatic voice message played. “Hyuna.” I said; the only thing in my mind I was sure of. “I-I don’t know what’s happening with you, or with me. I just want to talk to you. I know what I did hurt you. But in one way or another, I want to make this right. Call me back.”  
I put the phone back on it’s mount and leaned against the wall and slowly slid down till I softly landed on the floor with a thud. I looked down at the carpet and began to pick at it; trying to possibly comprehend what to do next.

<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>

Two weeks passed, and I was losing hope that anything was ever real. I would check my answering machine everyday for a message from her, for anything. Maybe I had gone so completely mad that I had imagined everything about her.  
I felt bad though. She had consumed my mind, I know Hyojong could tell that something was up. But how could I tell him? I loved him too, just as much. No matter what happened in the past, it didn’t matter. I only existed in the present, and so did he.  
I guess it’s easy to forget the past if it stays in the past. But whether I liked it or not, the past had found me here, and for whatever reason, the two eras were merging, with me as the center. 

Ch. 5

Suddenly, it had become the end of May, and I had given up on the idea that Hyuna would ever come back; that our brief meeting was a mistake; two different dimensions accidentally crashing together.  
Things between Hyojong and I had never been better though; I quit my terrible office job to come and work in the flower shop with him and his grandmother who took me in so graciously without a second thought.  
I moved out of my apartment and was now living in the small space above the shop where I shared Hyojong’s room. This isn’t where I had expected to be just under two months ago, but I guess we never really expect what happens to us next, do we? It’s better to take life as it comes, as hard as that can be. That’s where the most exciting things hide.  
One of the first nights I was living at Hyojong’s, I was going through the large shelf of odds and ends he had lining an entire wall of his tiny bedroom. He had all sorts of things, from books, to crystals, to plants, and plants, and plants.  
He was like a little garden fairy. If he had his way, I’m sure he would just tend to his plants day after day, making sure each one knew how much he loved them.  
I guess I was honored in that sense. That I had gained his trust as another one of his beloved plants. That I was now deeply rooted in his life, and he in mine.  
On the far side of the shelf, tucked away and covered in dust, was a book; Where The Wild Things Are. “Did you like this book as a kid?” I ask, turning to Hyojong who is watching me from the bed. “Yeah I did. My mom always used to read it to me. She would always do the best voices and it would make me laugh so hard.” He says, his tone is filled with a melancholic nostalgia. “Where is your mom now? Like, where does she live?” I ask, flipping throught the pages of the book.  
“Somewhere better I hope.” He answers. “She died when I was 17. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. Nothing could ever, ever, come close to that feeling; the feeling of absolutely falling apart.”  
“Hyojong, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” I blurt out. “No it’s okay. People don’t talk about the people they’ve lost enough, because they’re afraid to feel hurt. But that hurt only confirms that those people were here once too. That they were real just like me and you, and that they meant something. That they left something behind in us. That it wasn’t all for nothing.”  
I didn’t know what to say. Sometimes there isn’t anything to say, and that’s the hardest communication there is. To be present with someone, and for them to know that without a single word. Luckily, Hyojong breaks the silence:  
“A strange memory I have of my mom that gives me comfort now, is that we always use to talk about what our heaven would be like. You see, we didn’t like to believe the whole ‘pearly gates, angels singing on clouds imagery.’ It was more fun to think that heaven is whatever you want it to be. She always wanted to live in her dream house that would be located in our hometown. She said she wanted her grandma to live next door, but her parents to live a bus ride away. I always thought that was a funny detail. When I was a kid, and my mom would tell me that heaven could be whatever we wanted, I couldn’t wrap my head around it, so I would always just say that I would want a huge pool filled with caramel. Isn’t that so weird? Now, I don’t know what I’d want my heaven to be, something warm, and safe I guess; that’s always a good place to start. What would your heaven be like?”  
I think about it for a moment. I don’t know if I even believe in heaven, let alone know what my heaven would be like. “Well whatever it ends up being, I at least hope your there.” I say looking down at him.  
I lay down next to him on the bed, and we face each other. His eyes are sparkling in the moonlight that’s cascading in through the open window, and his pale lips peak just above the comforter he has on top of him.  
I gently reach over and brush his blonde bangs out of his face and cup his face in my hand; 

“I’ll eat you up I love you so.”

Ch.6

The days turned warm, and lasted longer than ever before. Hyojong and I would get away on the weekends to the beach; he loved the beach. I always found the surf and sand a little brutal, but seeing him so happy made everything not matter.  
One day, I was working in the shop, cutting dead leaves and making sure everyone had fresh water. The shop was quiet, only a few customers had wandered in from the baking heat of the day.  
Suddenly, the bell on the door rang, letting me know that someone was in. I turn around to greet the customer and-  
There she was. Beautiful as ever, wearing a long, sheer, dress that reached the floor, and a large sun hat. “Hi.” She says softly. “I thought maybe we could start this whole thing over.”  
“Start over from where?” I ask. “From wherever seems best.” she responds.

<><><><><><><><><>

She waits for me in front of the shop till I get my lunch break, and I greet her as we decide to take a walk in the steaming summer air. We walk in silence for a few paces. She digs through her purse, and pulls out huge black sunglasses that almost swallow her face whole.  
She’s cute in them though. She looks straight out of a magazine in her outfit. She always was so put together. I remember the first time I met her family, I was so nervous that I would look so out of place next to her in my not-so-special attire. She would always say I looked nice, even if I know she didn’t mean it.  
“How did you find me?” I blurt out. She chuckles and sighs. “You were never hard to find Hui. I asked your mother. She told me where your apartment was.”  
Damn, my mom always did love her. I should have known. “How did you know I was going to be in the flower shop?” I ask. “Well…. let’s just say that maybe I did a little stalking on that end. But like casually. I saw you going in there a lot to see that boy. Is he your friend or?” She asks.  
“H-he’s my boyfriend.” I say. It feels weird to say that aloud, I don’t know if I’d ever introduced him like that to anyone yet. I wasn’t nervous to, I just, never got the opportunity. “Oh!” She says with a hint of shock in her voice. “I gotta be honest, I didn’t think you liked guys like that.” She says. “I guess I didn’t know either. But, I love him. Who he is. It didn’t matter to me that he was a guy. He’s just, Hyojong.” I say.  
“Hyojong. That’s cute. Hui and Hyojong. Double H!” She laughs. “Hui, Hyojong, and Hyuna… triple h!” I chuckle back.  
“D-does he know about me?” She asks in a sudden serious tone. “No. I’ve never told him about you, or us. It’s not that I don’t want to, or that I want to keep it a secret, or that you don’t matter to me. I just, never thought to tell him I guess. There’s just, never been a right time to tell him.” I say looking down.  
She doesn’t say anything in response, we just continue to walk down the street. We walk for what seems like too long, my lunch break only being thirty minutes, until she suddenly speaks: “do you ever think about me Hui?” She asks, her voice shaking.  
I pause. It’s one of those powerful questions you’re asked only a few times in your life, ones where your answer means more than anything.  
I’m honest with her though; “All the time. All the time.” Tears begin to well up in my eyes as we both stand in the middle of the sidewalk, looking deep into each others eyes, each others souls.  
It’s crazy how you can mean so much someone, and they can mean the same thing to you. What’s even crazier is that sometimes, these hyper-important people drift out of our lives, for one reason or another, and suddenly you know nothing about the person you used to tell everything to. That’s what I thought as I looked at her. That I was in essence, looking at a piece of me; a piece of my past.  
“I miss you.” She says, a tear finally falling from her big, beautiful eyes. “I miss you too.” I say back. “More than you could ever know.”  
“I have to get back to work.” I say to her as I begin to turn around and walk in the opposite direction. “Hui!” She say grabbing my hand. “Meet me here, tonight, at 8. Please.” She says as she places a small folded note in my hand. She takes one last look into my eyes, and then walks away, back into the mystery from whence she came. Then, like before, I was alone again, thinking of what to possibly do next.  
I unfold the note, it has an address on it, one I don’t recognize. The address of some bar; “The Sunflower.”  
Should I tell Hyojong about all of this? I hadn’t told him anything yet. He doesn’t even know she exists. I’ll wait. Hopefully, that’s the right decision…hopefully.

Ch.7

That night, I jumped in my car and headed to the address. I lied to Hyojong and said I was meeting an old friend for dinner; that, I felt bad about. Lying is one of the worst things you can do to someone, but sometimes that feels like the only way they won’t get hurt. I mean, I guess it wasn’t a total lie, it just wasn’t the total truth.  
I drove through the warm, night air, wondering what would be waiting for at the end of the ten minute drive.  
I finally arrive to the bar located on the outer side of town. I park my car on the street and head inside. It’s nicer on the inside than I had expected; crystal chandeliers are hanging from the high ceilings, and the walls are illuminated with soft purple light,  
As I step through the doorway, I immediately spot her from across the room. She's sickenly stunning, wearing a tight black, leather dress, her hair in soft, raven waves. As I get closer, she turns to me and flashes a big smile, her beautiful white teeth shining past her glossy, plum-colored lips.  
“Hui!’ She exclaims as I sit across from her. “I honestly wasn’t sure if you would even come.” She says softly. “Of course I would. Do you know how happy I am to see you after all this time? I will admit, I’m super confused but… it’s good to see you again.” I say.  
A bartender comes over and places two shots on our table and walks away. “I hope you don’t mind, I ordered you a shot. You still drink Bacardi right?” She says, picking up her shot, and throwing it back. “I shouldn't drink. I drove here.” I say hesitantly.  
“Oh come on, one shot won’t do anything.” She says teasingly. I guess she’s right, one shot to loosen my nerves might do me some good. “I pick up the little glass and throw back the liquid inside. Whew. When your young, you always hope hard liquor will get easier the older you get, but I honestly think it’s gotten harder.  
“Hui, I don’t want to mess around with a bunch of formalities. We know each other, and we were once a big part of each other’s lives, so I’ll just be straight up. What happened to us?”  
My throat immediately closes. We had never really talked in depth about why I left, why we couldn’t be us anymore. I guess it was all too painful at the time, and even though it was my decision, I think it hurt me the most.  
“Well, things were just changing so fast back then. We had just graduated college, and I was so happy with you, I really was. But, we couldn’t be like that forever. We fell into a slump. I was working all the time, and you were singing in the bars, the malls, the streets, anywhere you could. We were both working so hard that we were barely even a couple anymore. When we’d see each other, we’d be so burnt out and frustrated that we would just fight over the littlest things. I didn't like who we had become. I didn’t like who I had become. Life had worn me so thin, that there wasn’t anything left of me to give to you. And that may seem like a selfish reason to leave, but I was hoping maybe one day we would meet again on the subway, or bump into each other in a far away land. And maybe then, just maybe, we could start again from zero. That maybe I would be a different person that could carry the world on his shoulders. I don’t know, maybe this doesn’t even make any sense, but that’s all the sense I’ve ever been able to make out of it.”  
Tears begin to stream from her eyes, she was always a crier, but she was always so beautiful at it. “You never had to carry the world on your shoulders Hui. That was never what I was looking for. I don’t want to meet a changed you years from now. I fell in love with you and all your flaws.” She wipes away the tears from her cheeks and suddenly chuckles; “I miss your flaws you know? Like how you can’t cook to save your life. Or how you always think you know where you're going on trips, but we always end up getting lost because you never want to hurt your pride and actually use a map.”  
“Hey that was only like, one….or three times.” I laugh. She remembered everything, as if not even a day had passed. She was like a walking time capsule of not only her life, but part of mine as well.  
The next few hours were less heavy, we just reminisced on our old times; when things were good, when things were bad, and everything in between. I also definitely drank more… a lot more. I was always a lightweight, but this night, with her there, I felt so comfortable that I just let go, and drank more than I probably ever have.  
Hyuna could always handle her liquor, so that night she walked me home. It was a long walk, probably about 20 blocks worth, but we just stumbled and laughed our way there.  
She walks me up the metal fire escape stairs that lead to the apartment above the shop and we stumble inside. Even in my intensely drunken state, I try to keep quiet, Hyojong and I aren’t the only ones living here.  
She lays me down on the couch, and kisses me on my forehead. What happens next is so sudden, and just another reason why I don’t drink anymore.  
I pull Hyuna down on top of me and begin kissing her with negligent hunger. She pulls away for a moment; “Hui...what about Hyojong... are you sure about this?”  
“Yeah it’s fine, we just gotta be quiet.” I slur back. I know now, that’s not what she meant. And it pains me that she thought about him more than I did in the moment.  
We pull each other back into the passionate kiss, our inebriated brains not worrying or caring about any consequence. I run my hands along her side and up under her shirt until I’m grasping her breasts. She moans into my mouth as I take off her shirt then reach around to unlatch her bra.  
Suddenly, we’re both naked, trying to be as quiet as we are passionate. We had sex that night on the couch. I told her I loved her. And I did, but in that moment, it felt like I only said it just so I could hear it back  
She went home in the wee hours of the morning. I made sure she caught a cab so she wouldn’t have to walk alone at night.  
I walked into Hyojong and I’s room, put a large t-shirt on, and crawled in bed next to him. He turns over spooning me from behind; “I thought you would never get home.” He says with a tired rasp in his voice. Tears suddenly erupt from my eyes. I cover my mouth so as not to make any noise.

I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I?

Ch. 8

The next morning, I’m sick as a dog, half from the alcohol, half from the guilt. How could I have done this to him? After he gave so much. Can you still say you’ve love someone after you’ve done something like this?  
I should tell him, just fess up now. Or maybe I shouldn’t. Which one will hurt him the least? Which one will hurt him the most? What kind of person does this make me? A person with desires? Or just a fucking idiot? Could I make mistakes? Yes. But not at the cost of someone else.  
The phone begins to ring from the other room, and I run to get it before someone else does, I know who’ll be on the other end. I almost run into Hyojong’s grandma who is leaving for the shop as I fly into the kitchen to grab the phone.  
I pick the phone off the wall; “Hello?” I say. “Hui, I’m so sorry about what happened last night. I should’ve just left. The guilt has been eating me away, I haven’t even slept. We shouldn’t have done what we did. I’ve ruined everything, just when I was trying to make things right. I should have waited like you talked about. For a meeting on the subway, or a run-in somewhere faraway. But instead, I was selfish and pushed my way in, and knocked everything over in the process.”  
“It wasn’t your fault.” I say stretching the phone cord into the other room so I can get some privacy. “It was mine. I pulled you into that. I let it keep going. I’m a shitty human being. I don’t deserve to have you or Hyojong in my life.” I begin to cry again.  
“I-is there anything I can do?” She asks. “Not unless you can travel back in time.” I say. She sighs; “Please don’t hesitate to talk to me. Listen, whether or not you decide to tell him is on you. You know what the right decision is. You love him Hui, and he loves you.”  
“It’s gonna hurt if I tell him..” I whisper. “And it’s gonna hurt if you don’t.” She says back. “Give it some time, but not too much, even if it hurts, he will respect the quick honesty.” “I’ll think about it. I just feel, like the biggest asshole ever. I'll maybe talk to you later, bye.” I say. “Bye Hui.” she says, then the line hangs up.  
I put the phone back on the wall and suddenly Hyojong is right behind me, his eyes glassy. “That’s her, isn’t it?” He says. “What do you mean?” I say back. “The girl in all of your pictures. The girl from all the letters. The ones you keep in your little box on your bedside table.”  
My lungs feel as if they’re about to collapse.He knew about her all along. It’s true, I kept my favorite pictures and letters in a small box that I took everywhere. Most of them were of her. You might be wondering why I would take these photos and letters to his place, and I guess I don’t have an answer, I just never even thought about it.  
“When did you-” “Just one day, I got curious, and looked inside.” He says. “Maybe that was wrong of me but, I was just curious. And that was her on the phone just now wasn’t it? I-I was listening from the other phone because I was wondering why you answered so quickly. And I know that’s nosey, but I guess now we’re both in the wrong.” Tears begin cascading out of his eyes; “ So what’s gonna hurt me Hui? Tell me. Do it quick, like a bandaid.”  
“I slept with her last night.” The words come out without my permission, and I wish I could snatch them right out of the air and put them back in my mouth.  
There’s a moment of absolute deafening silence. A moment that put space between me and him, a space the was unmeasurable. A space that was unclosable.  
“Was she was the friend. Or I guess more than a friend?” He chokes out. “Did nothing matter? Did I not matter? Was I just a passing fad to you Hui? You obviously have always loved her. But you haven’t always loved me.”  
“Hyojong.” Suddenly tears burst from my eyes. “There’s nothing I can say that will make this better. I know that. But let me just say one thing, before this is all inevitably over. I loved her. I love her. You’re right about that. But as impossible as it seems, and as much as I know you won’t believe me, I love you just as much. And now, I feel like a piece of shit. Because I hurt her before, in a different way, but just a painfully. And now I’ve hurt you. The only two things I’ve ever loved in this life, or any life before. And I know you won’t believe that, and I understand. I deserve to be alone. I shatter everything I touch, and I don’t deserve to be loved!” I cry out, as I fall to the ground.  
He crouches down to my level. And gently lifts my chin up. He takes a deep breath, and torrent of tears falling from his eyes begin to slow their pace; “I love you so much Hui. So much so that you could never know how much it hurts me to think about letting you go. You think I want that? I don’t. But how could I trust you again? How can I trust that I mean the same to you that she does? I mean, how long have you two being seeing each other? Since we met? Since before we met? Did I really mean anything? Ever?” He asks.  
“I hadn’t seen her in over two years. I didn’t know what had happened to her. I had lost her, and in that, I lost some of myself. That night, when you and I had sex on my apartment floor, and you told me about the dragonfly, she showed up. Out of the rain. Out of my memories. I didn’t see her again for another month when she showed up at the shop. And then I got too drunk last night with her, and I fucked everything up.” I say  
“And you know what the ironic thing is Hyojong? At the end of all of this? The ironic thing is that I was the dragonfly all along. This whole time. You picked me up. You helped me. But I just fluttered back onto the sidewalk I guess. You were the good in it all. Not to say she was bad. She was another wounded dragonfly on the same sidewalk. And now, we’re both about to get squashed.”  
He suddenly pulls me up into a hug. “I love you dragonfly.” He says through his tears. “And I’m not going to let you get squashed.”  
“Why are you being so kind to me? You deserve someone better Hyojong.”I say, still in the hug.”  
Because I can forgive. Because I know you’ll make mistakes. Because i’m taking a leap of faith, for love, and for trust, and I hope you’ll catch me where I land.” He says.  
“Now, I’ll be honest, I’m hurt Hui. But I can heal. We all can. It all just takes a little time.”

Ch. 9

And time it took. I moved out of his place, and into another apartment not too far. We didn't break up, but we were certainly on a break. We would still see each other, and I still worked in the shop. The feeling between us wasn’t bitter, or hateful, it was more like we were starting from square one.  
Everyday I wanted so badly to kiss him, but he had set boundaries, and those I respected. I loved him so much, and I felt as if the universe, for some reason, was giving me a second chance. Another shot at love.  
I kept Hyuna at arms length, as bad as that made me feel. But she understood. Hyojong had surprisingly shown interest in meeting her though. I was hesitant when he first approached me about it, his motives were unclear.  
You want to think you go about your life assuming the best in people, hoping that everyone is looking out for everyone else, but you never really know. I guess it was hypocritical coming from me after everything that had happened, I guess I had no other choice but to trust him.  
One night I visited him at his place; at what used to be our place. I didn’t have anything in mind for the visit, or maybe I did, somewhere deep down. I remember sitting across from him, he in one chair, and I in another. We were both slumped down so far, that our feet almost touched each other.  
I miss him. I miss when things weren’t like this. When the silence wasn’t a bad thing. It almost makes me cry if I’m honest. It makes my throat close, and my nose leak. I would be in a slump again if it meant I could start this whole thing over.  
I’ve always been a believer in not having any regrets; that every decision you make seemed like the best decision at the time. Seemed. I don’t know. I guess I still believe that, with this being the only exception. But if I come out of life only regretting one thing, I guess that means I did okay.  
It had been three weeks since Hyojong and I decided that a break would be best, so what he did next surprised me to say the least. He slumped down just a little bit more in his chair, closing the gap between his feet and mine. He gently stroked the soles of my feet with the tips of his toes. Maybe that was weird looking back on it, but it meant a lot to me. A simple, and to a point, almost platonic gesture. We had gone from square one to square two, and that was a start.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Another month passed, by now, July was coming to an end, and the beginning of all this felt like it has happened in a different time all together.  
Hyojong had forgiven me. We still weren’t living together, but at one point he kissed me, and at another point, we finally had sex again; and let me just say, it was the best sex I had ever had up until then. Our labidos had longed for each other. To be 100% vulnerable with the person who was just out of reach; who was just outside the boundaries we created.  
That same night, Hyojong asked me something I had never really talked about; “Hui can I ask you something? Something personal? And you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” He says as he strokes my collarbone. “Oh course. You can ask me anything always.” I say looking into his eyes. “Listen, I hate labels, I think they put us in boxes so that society can make us all uniform, and organize us into neat, little packages. But you obviously love me, a man, but you also love Hyuna, a girl, what does that make you?” He asks.  
“It makes me someone who loves people. I think people are beautiful, inside and out. Society gets so wrapped up in how everyone has sex, that they never once stop to think that you can see past the clothes, and the skin, and the bones, to see them. To truly see someone. For who they are, who they were, who they will be. Not what they are, or what label society wants to put on them. I will admit, I never loved a guy before you. But then again, I never loved another girl besides Hyuna. And I don’t know if that makes me anything besides just a person. Besides just Hui.” I say.  
“I like that. That’s how I feel too.” He whispers. “Would you- nevermind…” He says. “No what did you wanna say? Tell me baby.” I say back. “Would you bring Hyuna and I over to your place tomorrow?” He asks.  
The question catches me off guard. “For dinner? Or to talk?” I ask. “Whatever. We can feel it out as we go.” He says. “Why do you want to meet her? I would think should would be the last person you would want to see.” I ask.  
“I read those letters you wrote to her. The ones you never sent. I read how you would describe her, how she made you feel. How could I deny you those feelings? How could I when I love you this much? You described her as the ‘smell of your childhood bedroom.’ What did you mean by that?”  
“Sometimes I think that I was never supposed to be anything beyond a child.” I say. “You get older and older, and you problems become bigger and bigger right under your nose until you realize that every aspect of childhood you ever had is lost. That you have become something you never thought you would be. But when I was with her, things seemed simple. Like they used to. As if when we were together, the problems we faced weren’t bigger than us. I don’t know, she made me feel like a child in that way. Like nothing could ever hurt me again. Does that make any sense?” I ask.  
“ It makes all the sense in the world. You know, when what happened, happened, I was hurt. But I guess now, I’ve come to look beyond that. To look beyond myself. To look at you, and us, and her, and what this all means.” He says.  
“Invite her over tomorrow. Let’s see where this all goes.”

Ch. 10

 

When I got home from Hyojong’s that night, I immediately called Hyuna. She picked up with a hesitant “hello?” She was wary of her place in my life at the moment, and I’m sure she felt cautious as to my motives in calling her.  
“Hyuna, can I talk to you about something?” I ask. “O-of course Hui, anything.” She responds. “Hyojong... h-he really wants to meet you.”  
“What?!” She yells through the phone. “I know, that’s what I said.” I chuckle back. “Is he gonna like, prank me or something?” She asks. “I don’t know. He sounded genuine when he asked though. He had read all these letters I had never sent to you. He likes how I talked about you, and he said that it would be unfair to keep me from you.” I say.  
“Y-you kept letters you never sent to me? All this time?” She whispers through the line. “Of course. I couldn’t just throw those kind’ve things away.” I whisper back.  
“Meet us at my new place tomorrow evening, maybe around eight or so.” I say. “Okay Hui, I’ll see you then. Bye.”  
“Bye Hyuna.” And the line drops.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Hyojong came early to my apartment so that we could ready ourselves for the evening ahead; no matter what was about to happen. Maybe saying “ready ourselves” is a little dramatic, but I was nervous out of my wits to see my two worlds collide, and I’m sure they both were too.  
This moment would make the present real; my past and future meeting in a physical space, a materialistic dimension. Finally, time was being seen, and realized, and manifested into something that could be felt.  
Never did I think I would ever fall in love, and I certainly never thought I would fall in love twice. What was the universe telling me? That I had the capacity to love this much? That I needed to be tested on how much I could love? The thought frightened and exhilarated me, and I was up to the challenge.  
Hyojong and I sat around my apartment, drinking wine, and laughing about made up scenarios that could happen between the three of us; between this “triple h.” Maybe we would all part ways; three suns that had come too close, at the risk of the largest supernova ever. Or maybe we would all fall in love; three people who were always destined for passionate polyamory.  
Our quandary and questioning was brought to a halt as a knock on the door, exactly at 8, cut our daydreaming short.  
I opened the door and was shocked to see a head of flaming red locks staring back at me. “Hyuna? You changed your hair!” I exclaim. “I wanted to start fresh for this big moment, the black was getting a little existential.” She explained.  
I beckoned her into my apartment, and for the first time, Hyojong and Hyuna were face-to-face. The only thing now separating them now was a few feet of tension-filled air. “Hyuna,” I gulped, “this is Hyojong.” I point towards him as he gets up off the couch. “It’s amazing to meet you Hyojong. Really.” Hyuna says extending a hand.  
Hyojong takes her hand and pulls her into a hug, something that catches Hyuna and I both by surprise. Hyuna sinks into the hug and I can’t help to suddenly feel like the third wheel. Or maybe that wasn’t the feeling at all. Maybe I don’t know what I felt in that moment. It was a moment I had never experienced, and a moment I would never experience again.  
I think Hyuna sees me awkwardly blushing in the corner and beckons me over. Her and Hyojong pull out of the hug, and the three of us sit down, I on a single chair, and the two of them on the couch.  
We sit there for a moment in silence, all of three of us waiting for someone to get the courage to say something. Finally, Hyuna speaks; “So, I’m sure we’re all feeling, a bit awkward, especially after all that’s happened. So, why don’t we all start as if we didn’t know each other. I’ll start. My name is Kim Hyuna, I’m 26. Um, I love music, and dancing, and I’ll always hold on to my dream of being a singer one day. I have two younger brothers, and a dog named Sogeum. And that’s about it, there isn’t much to me I guess.”  
There is so much to her. I wish she would admit that. I wish she had said how much she loves cookies and cream ice cream, or how she swears she’s going to collect every flavor of soda on the market right now, even the nasty ones. Or how much she loves to travel, especially to places with a beach. She is so much more than siblings and Sogeum, even if she doesn’t see that.  
“Well I’m Kim Hyojong,” Hyojong suddenly says. “I love plants of all kinds. I like tattoos, and the rain, and the soil, and the stars in the sky. I love the idea that we’re not alone in the galaxy, that we’re just neighbors to other people out there who are thinking the same thing.”  
And there’s where it suddenly hit me. Where I suddenly realized that I could not love one without the other. Hyuna was literal, and grounded to Earth. She loved to dream of life on this planet, of making the physical reality better for not only her, but for those around her. And Hyojong, he was a visitor from outer space. He dreamed of a life beyond our solar system. He dreamed of planets filled with plants and the sun, where he wasn’t tied to society, where he could just be him.  
They were two halves to one whole. Two halves of me. That’s why it never worked. That’s why Hyuna and I parted ways. That’s why I was in a slump. That’s why I was now face to face with all I had ever loved, and all that had ever loved me.  
It was a sense of catharsis that washed over me as I came to this realization. But more than that, I was afraid. I needed both of them in my life, but maybe they didn’t need each other, and as grateful as I was to have them in this moment, I feared that I wouldn’t have them forever.  
But I had to lean into the discomfort and the uncertainty and appreciate what I had in this moment; what I perhaps only had for right now.  
“Do we want drinks?” I ask the room. “Yeah, drinks would be great!” Hyuna exclaims. “I’ll have a double shot vodka tonic.” She asks. “And I’ll have a Heineken if you have any.” Hyojong asks. I mix Hyuna’s drink and I grab a beer for Hyojong, and a beer for myself.  
Over the next few hours, we talk and drink till we’re delirious, getting to know things about one another, some things I hadn’t even known about them.  
I eventually bring out my poker set and some fancy cigars I had been saving for a special occasion, and this seemed as special of one as any. The three of us sit and play poker (as well as we could) while puffing on our cigars. I’m sure we weren’t actually playing to any sort of actual standard as the three of us were pretty hammered at this point.  
At some point Hyojong pulls glow sticks out of his pockets, he’s always full of surprises. He takes a swig of beer and stumbles into the bathroom where we shortly hear the tap begin to run.  
Hyuna and I stumble into the bathroom to see the tub glowing hues of pink, blue, and green. Hyojong is sitting in the colored water, fully clothed, still drinking away at his bottle.  
“Guys, get in here, it’s like an outer space bath.” He says. Hyuna and I look at each as if to say “fuck it” and we both jump in next to him.  
The water spills over the edge of the tub as it conforms to the new bodies. The three of us sit there for a few minutes in silence, our drunken eyes watching the water shift and carry the glow of the lights from one end of the tub to another.  
Suddenly, Hyojong grabs my hand, and he must’ve grabbed Hyuna’s as well, as we both look up at him simultaneously. What was his angle? Or did this have nothing to do with his prior motives? Was this just a drunken gesture? Maybe. But I do believe that drunk words are sober thoughts.  
He suddenly pulls my head towards his own, our lips colliding in drunken passion. We kiss for a few moments, when he turns to Hyuna and does the same. Oh. So this is what he wanted. I’m turned on, don’t you dare get me wrong, but I wondered if he was in it just for this experience, just for the exotic pleasure of it all. He was a sexual being, but so was I, and so was Hyuna, and so were many people you walk by every day. Sex doesn’t make you a bad person. Desire doesn’t make you one either.  
Hyuna straddled Hyojong, sending more water flying out of the bathtub. She kisses his neck as I kiss his beautiful lips, the two of us working in perfect sensual harmony.  
This was bound to happen wasn’t it? We were all connected to each other already, as people, as lovers, as dragonflies on the sidewalk. Hyuna hadn’t intruded on a timeline that wasn’t hers, she had stopped one from coming true; one without her, one without this moment.  
“Why don’t we take this somewhere else?” Hyojong whispers to the two of us. We get out of the tub, and begin stripping off our soaked clothes, strewning them about the bathroom.  
We almost run to the bedroom where we, as if by pure instinct, unravel our bodies into each other; becoming one from three. Lips and tongues are gliding over every inch of skin. Fingers comb through hair, and down spines.  
Each of us are worshipped by one another, it all feels almost primal. We were animals of the flesh that night, howling into each other, feeding on the lust that thickened the air of the room. Our encounter lasted for hours. We never tired, and we certainly couldn’t get enough of each other.

<><><><><><><><><><>

I wake up the next morning with each of them draped over me, the closest I’ve ever come to heaven on Earth. They were so beautiful. I wish you could’ve seen them. I wish I could take you there, to that moment, beyond these words, and into that late August morning.

Ch. 11

Hyuna moved in with me, Hyojong decided to stay in his apartment to look after his grandmother. I still worked in the flower shop with Hyojong, and Hyuna had found a job working in a local record store. Everything seemed like it was falling into place.  
Our relationship status was an unspoken one. The three of us didn’t want to be weighed down by any sort of label, we wanted to just love each other in whatever way that meant to us. Hyojong and Hyuna bonded over fashion and music. They both loved rap and would always spit to the latest beats that would play on the radio.  
As the summer came to a close, the three of us took a trip to the beach. We all loaded up in Hyojong’s truck and drive the two hours to the shore. I sat in the passenger’s seat while he drove, and Hyuna, our beautiful Hyuna, lay across the back seat, all the while soaking up the golden rays that shown through the open window. She was so gorgeous in the sunlight, her fiery hair glistening in the rays, making her look fantastical, almost like she wasn’t real.  
I could’ve cried, I was so happy. Things turned out okay. I guess in the end, things always turn out okay. I was never destined to be in a slump forever, Hyojong was never destined to work alone in the shop, and Hyuna was never destined to be just a memory. We were all destined to exist just like this, in the company of each other.  
We would talk about marriage and how that could ever work. We didn’t wanna be some sort of weird polygamist couple, we wanted to be just us. But it was fun to dream of the future with them. To imagine the rest of my life just like this, with no strings attached.

<><><><><><><><><><>

 

Summer faded into autumn days filled with pumpkin picking and spiked apple cider. We would lay in front of the fire at my apartment, all huddled up in a heap, just the way we liked it. Fuck, I loved them so much. It felt as if my heart was filled with steam, and it would burst at any moment.  
But one day, everything came to a halt. Hyojong called me at 3 in the morning, something he never did as he had to wake up early each day to run the flower shop. Hyuna followed me into the kitchen as I picked up the phone; “Hui! Come over, please! My grandma fell and she’s not waking up!” I cried through the phone. “Have you called an ambulance?” I ask. “Yes they’re on their way, they told me not to move her.” He yells. “Is she breathing?” I ask. “Yeah, barely, her head’s bleeding so badly, I don’t know what to do! Please get over here! Bring Hyuna.” He cries.  
“Put pressure on her wound, we’ll be there as quick as we can!” “I love you Hui.” He whispers. “I love you so much more dragonfly.” I whisper back.  
Soon, Hyuna and I are speeding the four or five blocks to the shop. I’m afraid of what we’ll find. Hyojong’s grandma is all he has in this world. She took him in when he had no one. Please, please don’t let her die.  
As we pull up to the shop, ambulance lights are flashing over all the surrounding buildings. Hyojong’s grandma is being placed on a gurney and toted into the back of the ambulance. Hyuna and I get out of the car and run tot Hyojong who is sobbing on the curb.  
“Hyojong!” I yell as I embrace him. Hyuna comes behind me and hugs us both. He’s shaking so badly, and his hands are coated with sweat. “I’m so afraid.” He says. “I don’t want her to die Hui.” “She won’t,” I say, knowing that I have no control over what will happen.  
Hyojong rides in the ambulance with his grandma, and we follow behind. Hyuna and I wait in the waiting room for hours, waiting for something, anything. Finally, Hyojong emerges. “She’s in a coma, her brain suffered a lot of trauma from the fall. I don’t think she’s gonna make it.” He chokes out as he falls into our arms, tears billowing out of his swollen eyes.  
It was another point where I didn’t know what to say. There was nothing I could say that would make it any better.

<><><><><><><><><>

Hyojong’s grandma died a week later, and he was rightfully devastated. He told us he wanted to be alone, but we would call him everyday to make sure he was still alive, so that we could hear his voice.  
We attended her funeral, it was just the three us, all that was left of her family on this Earth. I wish there were enough words in the world to describe how sorry I was to him. That this isn’t how things should’ve had turned out. He loved his grandmother, and he loved us, and he loved his flowers. That’s all he ever did was love. He loved unconditionally, with no obligations. He loved just so people would know that they had a place. A place where they could be them. Where he could plant them, and water them, and make sure they got enough sun. To make sure that they too got off the sidewalk.

Prologue

The three of us ran the shop from then on. Every month, Hyojong would make the most ornate bouquet, and take it to his grandmother’s grave. Hyuna was fascinated by the business of flowers and she made sure the community was too. She revolutionized the shops advertisements, and even gave it a makeover with a new coat of paint and a little reorganization.  
Hyojong taught us new things about plants every day, and we even started our own garden in a little alleyway behind my apartment.  
He was healing slowly, and we never expected anymore of him. We were his family, and they were mine as well.  
It’s funny, I would dream about them every night. I find it funny because I spent every waking second with them, but I guess my brain wanted more. It wanted them always, and forever. It wanted us.  
But one night, I had a dream that was different from all the rest. A dream that different, yet all too familiar. I awoke in a vast field of flowers, under a single, lone oak. Only this time, there was no Hyojong, but I wasn’t alone. Somewhere far off, was a gentle flapping of wings; a small buzz that broke up the stain-glass silence of the flowers. Perched somewhere within the meadow, on a flower like all the rest, was something. Not a person, but perhaps something more. Something that existed before you or me, or Hyojong, or Hyuna. Perched on the far off flower, was a single, iridescent, green dragonfly.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is the first non-verkwan fic I've ever written, and it's also the longest fic I've ever written. I'm not sure how Hui will be liked in this story, but I wanted to write him as kind've an unreliable narrator. I had originally written another fic that followed the original 365 fresh storyline, but I hated how that was going. I hope this fic was okay. It was really freeing, yet scary getting out of my verkwan comfort zone. This took me two months to write and so I'm glad to finally get it out.
> 
> let's be mutuals! twitter: @futuraultra


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